The motto that I think I need to adapt to my life right now goes something like this..."Put on your big girl panties & be a NURSE!" That 'bout says it all. Why, why, why do I get so flustered when something new comes my way?! I think part of it is my preceptor...she possesses the deep desire to have all orders signed off & done 2 seconds after the doctor writes them. In the real world, I think I will have at least 10 minutes to look them over and ponder on the orders before obsessively carrying them out.
On a lighter note, I had the first glimpse of the effect I have on patients. We, our unit, received a bouquet of "Fruit Flowers" from a patient who was with us for about 30 days. There it was, this beautiful bouquet of fruit at the nurses station, with a note of thanks for the care we had given him. Wow. Someone noticed our work & thanked us. That was really sweet & gave me a lot of perspective into my job. I am caring for some one's loved one...that is really special.
The clock is ticking down to that pivotal day...the first day off orientation with 5 patients under my care...I'm trying not to panic. Rather, I am hoping to equip myself with everything I can to to be able to survive that first day. I will try to look at it as an empowering day!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Yes, It Gets Better
Finally, at last, I feel like I might be able to do this. Wednesday was the DAY. You know, the day that either makes you or breaks you. Here's the set up...
It's 0745: Doctor A is spouting orders in my ear b/c a patient who was scheduled for surgery is now in A-fib b/c he has not been getting his Plavix. No surprise there, except the Doctor wants the patient transferred to telemetry, NOW.
It's 0746: Doctor B is wondering where the nurse is for a patient b/c he is ready to do an arthrocentesis and needs a witness for the Time Out.
It's 0747: Doctor C is writing orders for a patient to get a CT of the abdomen & pelvis with contrast, orders a D-dimer now, orders 2 IV antibiotics, and if the D-dimer is + then a CT of the chest.
Meanwhile, 2 other patients are waiting for their meds, urinals are full, beds are a mess, and of course they are in pain. Oh did I mention there was a patient right in front of the nurse's station who has dementia and is yelling, "Yo Lady...Boss Lady...Nurse, NUrse, NURSE!"
I was overwhelmed, even my preceptor was a little stressed. Through all of the stress, something got to me, I got mad & I got motivated. My attitude was, "You tell me what you need and I'll get it." I was calling doctors, taking verbals, signing orders off, telling Mr. Dementia that he can't get out of bed on his own...you name it I was ready. I got my inner fighter back, at last.
This morning I was actually able to eat breakfast, not much of a breakfast, a nectarine, but better than nothing. I even drank 2 cups of coffee. Doesn't sound like much, but lately my nerves have been shot, and what goes in goes out pretty quickly. Maybe TMI, but those of you who have been under a lot of stress can relate. So nourishment at this point is a good thing.
Today I had my progress meeting & it went well. I voiced my concerns, frustrations, and feeling like I wanted to quit just a couple days ago. They reassured me that I am normal & doing great, even better than expected. Even my preceptor had compliments.
I couldn't ask for more. Today was a good day, so I'm going to enjoy every minute. I'm going to keep working hard, and doing my best, knowing that the good & the bad days come and go. I have to say, it's a great feeling to realize that you just might be able to achieve your dreams.
P.S.
Thank you to everyone who reads my blogs, and thanks to those of you who have commented. I am so glad that you believe in me & can relate in some way. We will all get through this together!
It's 0745: Doctor A is spouting orders in my ear b/c a patient who was scheduled for surgery is now in A-fib b/c he has not been getting his Plavix. No surprise there, except the Doctor wants the patient transferred to telemetry, NOW.
It's 0746: Doctor B is wondering where the nurse is for a patient b/c he is ready to do an arthrocentesis and needs a witness for the Time Out.
It's 0747: Doctor C is writing orders for a patient to get a CT of the abdomen & pelvis with contrast, orders a D-dimer now, orders 2 IV antibiotics, and if the D-dimer is + then a CT of the chest.
Meanwhile, 2 other patients are waiting for their meds, urinals are full, beds are a mess, and of course they are in pain. Oh did I mention there was a patient right in front of the nurse's station who has dementia and is yelling, "Yo Lady...Boss Lady...Nurse, NUrse, NURSE!"
I was overwhelmed, even my preceptor was a little stressed. Through all of the stress, something got to me, I got mad & I got motivated. My attitude was, "You tell me what you need and I'll get it." I was calling doctors, taking verbals, signing orders off, telling Mr. Dementia that he can't get out of bed on his own...you name it I was ready. I got my inner fighter back, at last.
This morning I was actually able to eat breakfast, not much of a breakfast, a nectarine, but better than nothing. I even drank 2 cups of coffee. Doesn't sound like much, but lately my nerves have been shot, and what goes in goes out pretty quickly. Maybe TMI, but those of you who have been under a lot of stress can relate. So nourishment at this point is a good thing.
Today I had my progress meeting & it went well. I voiced my concerns, frustrations, and feeling like I wanted to quit just a couple days ago. They reassured me that I am normal & doing great, even better than expected. Even my preceptor had compliments.
I couldn't ask for more. Today was a good day, so I'm going to enjoy every minute. I'm going to keep working hard, and doing my best, knowing that the good & the bad days come and go. I have to say, it's a great feeling to realize that you just might be able to achieve your dreams.
P.S.
Thank you to everyone who reads my blogs, and thanks to those of you who have commented. I am so glad that you believe in me & can relate in some way. We will all get through this together!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Does It Get Better?
Today was rough. I just felt completely un-nerved all day, I don't really know why. Ok, the update...
I am taking 3 patients this week. My preceptor is supporting me with some of their care, but mostly I am trying to field all the details. I have gotten all 25 venipuncture sticks, all 5 EKGs, and 3 of 5 hep-locks. My progress meeting with my preceptor and educator was yesterday. The overall thoughts were that I am doing good. I've seen a lot, hung heparin, hung blood, changed a colostomy, admitted & discharged patients, taken verbal orders, etc.
All of that is good stuff that I have done, however those "things" don't translate into confidence on the inside for me. Today, with my 3 patient load I felt overwhelmed & fought back the urge to cry all day. I just get nervous pulling the meds & I feel like I have to concentrate so much to make sure I am getting the right meds and administering them correctly. I know in time I will start to feel more comfortable, like after I've pulled up morphine IV 50 times. But for now I still have to concentrate, and I guess that is a good thing.
Today I took a verbal order for a low potassium. I handled it quite well & felt comfortable talking with the doctor. That is progress & I have to give myself credit for that. Ok, deep breath & pat on the back.
I also actually had to be an advocate for a patient today. The patient wasn't getting any answers regarding his procedure, he was frustrated & was getting anxious. In spite of looking stupid in front of the surgeons, I got the results the patient needed. While we were in the patient's room, he said to the surgeon, "This one here is a great nurse (pointing towards me). She has been really great to me all day. She is just wonderful. I couldn't ask for anyone better." Yeah, that is when the tears wanted to gush. After, the surgeon was cleaning up and not looking, he mouthed the words, "Thank You." That said it all. The stupid humiliation I endured was worth making this patient comfortable & getting him the care he needed. I was his advocate, I fought for what he needed.
When I look back on it, the whole situation "felt" more humiliating than it really was. And it wasn't actually that big of a deal. It's just because I'm new & I don't know how things work that I feel so inept.
The day was long & tiring and I promptly burst into tears the moment I got in my car and knew I was safe. I find myself wondering, "Is this really what I want to do, now that I see what it is all about?" The other new nurses who were hired with me are thinking the same thing. We didn't really know what were were getting into, but now that we are in it we are a little shocked. I don't know what to think of it all. I try to look at the facts, that my preceptor & educator are saying to me that I am doing good & I am where I should be at this point in my orientation. But let me tell you, if confidence/guts/balls/backbones/assertiveness were something you could buy - I would pay any price just to have it. No lie.
Tomorrow I go to the cath lab & then rotate with PT/OT for the afternoon. I'm grateful for the break from the floor.
I am taking 3 patients this week. My preceptor is supporting me with some of their care, but mostly I am trying to field all the details. I have gotten all 25 venipuncture sticks, all 5 EKGs, and 3 of 5 hep-locks. My progress meeting with my preceptor and educator was yesterday. The overall thoughts were that I am doing good. I've seen a lot, hung heparin, hung blood, changed a colostomy, admitted & discharged patients, taken verbal orders, etc.
All of that is good stuff that I have done, however those "things" don't translate into confidence on the inside for me. Today, with my 3 patient load I felt overwhelmed & fought back the urge to cry all day. I just get nervous pulling the meds & I feel like I have to concentrate so much to make sure I am getting the right meds and administering them correctly. I know in time I will start to feel more comfortable, like after I've pulled up morphine IV 50 times. But for now I still have to concentrate, and I guess that is a good thing.
Today I took a verbal order for a low potassium. I handled it quite well & felt comfortable talking with the doctor. That is progress & I have to give myself credit for that. Ok, deep breath & pat on the back.
I also actually had to be an advocate for a patient today. The patient wasn't getting any answers regarding his procedure, he was frustrated & was getting anxious. In spite of looking stupid in front of the surgeons, I got the results the patient needed. While we were in the patient's room, he said to the surgeon, "This one here is a great nurse (pointing towards me). She has been really great to me all day. She is just wonderful. I couldn't ask for anyone better." Yeah, that is when the tears wanted to gush. After, the surgeon was cleaning up and not looking, he mouthed the words, "Thank You." That said it all. The stupid humiliation I endured was worth making this patient comfortable & getting him the care he needed. I was his advocate, I fought for what he needed.
When I look back on it, the whole situation "felt" more humiliating than it really was. And it wasn't actually that big of a deal. It's just because I'm new & I don't know how things work that I feel so inept.
The day was long & tiring and I promptly burst into tears the moment I got in my car and knew I was safe. I find myself wondering, "Is this really what I want to do, now that I see what it is all about?" The other new nurses who were hired with me are thinking the same thing. We didn't really know what were were getting into, but now that we are in it we are a little shocked. I don't know what to think of it all. I try to look at the facts, that my preceptor & educator are saying to me that I am doing good & I am where I should be at this point in my orientation. But let me tell you, if confidence/guts/balls/backbones/assertiveness were something you could buy - I would pay any price just to have it. No lie.
Tomorrow I go to the cath lab & then rotate with PT/OT for the afternoon. I'm grateful for the break from the floor.
Monday, August 4, 2008
In Hand!
I got my license today! It's very plain and not exciting at all, but it has my name on it & that's most important.
Work is going good. Today I shadowed a nursing assistant so that I could get all of my venipunctures. I did pretty good 7 successful out of 7attempts; I just need 18 more! I also got 3 EKG's done and only need 2 more. These are just 2 things of many that I need to have completed in order to "graduate" from orientation. It was a good day :)
It started at 3:30am with the alarm & work started at 6am, so naturally I am pretty pooped. Tomorrow I am back on my regular floor with my preceptor & I start with 2 patients this week.
Stay tuned! I'm hoping for another good week :)
Work is going good. Today I shadowed a nursing assistant so that I could get all of my venipunctures. I did pretty good 7 successful out of 7attempts; I just need 18 more! I also got 3 EKG's done and only need 2 more. These are just 2 things of many that I need to have completed in order to "graduate" from orientation. It was a good day :)
It started at 3:30am with the alarm & work started at 6am, so naturally I am pretty pooped. Tomorrow I am back on my regular floor with my preceptor & I start with 2 patients this week.
Stay tuned! I'm hoping for another good week :)
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